You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
