I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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