I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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