I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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