No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
