I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
