perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
