I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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