Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
