im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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