Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
