??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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