I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
