What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize