I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize