her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
