I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
