u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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