This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
