i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
