I wannas sexs uuuuu
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
