Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
