so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
