I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
home. puking in laundry basket.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
