I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
