In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm sobbing to NWA
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
