omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
