Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
