eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
