no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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