can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
