i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
