I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
