When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
