I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
