all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
