Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
