It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
