make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
