he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
