I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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