You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
