I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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