didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
