oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
