They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
