I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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