My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
North Korea, Best Korea!
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
