im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize