help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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