the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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