We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
