Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
