Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
