obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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