there was a trapeze. enough said
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize