the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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