kristin has been a bad kristin
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
