Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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