your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
