sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
