I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
