So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
