it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
