i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
