i just google imaged poop.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize