Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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