I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
