How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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