Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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