Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
