My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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