U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
