There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I CAN MOONWALK!
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
