My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
